Hack-a-day is reporting that CERN has released the manual for the Large Hadron Collider. Just in time, really, because I've been thinking of buying one of these.

Of course, the manual contains the usual stuff:

1. Make sure the Large Hadron Collider is plugged in.
2. Note that investigation of supersymmetric particles, strangelets, and micro black holes can lead to injury or death. It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.
3. Please be sure to complete the enclosed Product Registration Card in order to receive important updates for your Large Hadron Colliider, and to receive notice of new products from CERN.
4. Your Large Hadron Collider comes with an extra Compact Muon Solenoid. 96 tons of liquid helium sold separately.

I had no idea that today was System Administrator Appreciation Day — that is, until I got a very sweet note from a colleague thanking me for maintaining the dev server at CDRH.

Sysadmins are sometimes thought of as occupying one of the lower rungs of the technical ladder (and most are fond of exploiting that fact with lots of self-deprecating humor). But really, most of us secretly enjoy the engine room. For me, system administration is sort of like fixing your own car. I really don't have to do it, but I like doing it. I love a good, well-oiled (up-to-date, secure, tuned) machine, and when there's a crisis, I sometimes feel like the Master Chief on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier. Pilots get all the glory, but it's the guy with the wrench who keeps the birds in the air. Thanks, y'all.

Like most of you, I've been perched on my front porch every day for two weeks waiting for the new (3rd. edition) of the MLA Style Manual and Guide to Scholarly Publishing to arrive. At long last, it came. Naturally, I sat down and read it cover to cover.

I don't want to spoil it for anyone. I will note, however, that my lifelong dream of having one of my articles cited as an example of the use of italicized titles was not realized.

However, that insufferable slight was almost ameliorated by a new section on Fair Use that, in comparison to the cold informational tone of previous editions, almost rises to the level of protest. I particularly welcome the addition of such detailed explanations, which occur amidst frequent mention of the case law governing the Fair Use provision:

Congress intended the statutory provision . . . to restate the fair use doctrine that existed before the passage of the act, not to change, narrow, or enlarge it in any way, as the reports of the House and Senate committees make clear. Accordingly, all decisions of the courts before and after the 1976 Copyright Act are relevant to the determination of copyright law. [. . .] Furthermore, the Copyright Act makes no statement amount the relative importance of the [four] factors, and the Supreme Court clarified in Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, Inc. (1994) that no one factor is more important than the others, nor must the use be supported by all four factors to be fair. (51)

And my favorite . . .

Although one occasionally hears that it is acceptable to use some percentage of the work or some specified number of words, neither the statute nor any regulation nor case law sanctions such guidelines on the quantity of material protected by copyright that may be taken without permission, and authors should not rely on them.

Actually, one doesn't "occasionally hear" that it is acceptable. I have yet to encounter a library or department that doesn't hand out a sheet describing exactly how many pages (or lines, or words) one can copy from a text before it violates what is widely understood to be the most important of the four factors ("The effect of the use on the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work"). "Very few," is the message communicated by these guidelines, and yet most people I know understand it as an articulation of the Fair Use provision. Few seem to be aware that these guidelines were written by the Association of American Publishers — a trade association primarily concerned with protecting the industry — and have no basis in law.

It's refreshing to see an articulation of Fair Use (put forth by a major scholarly society) that does not attempt to frighten authors into complying with the industry's reading of the statute, but instead subtly urges American authors to assert their Fair Use rights as citizens engaged in "criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching . . ., scholarship, or research" (51). Perhaps we could excerpt this fine section (2.2.13) of the MLA Style Manual and hand it out in department copy centers as a replacement for the AAP's manifesto?

Some time ago, I posted an essay on craftsmanship that featured a piece of furniture that my father built. That essay turned out to be the most popular blog post I've written, and it also led to a number of emails expressing admiration for my father's skills as a woodworker. It is with great pleasure, then, that I post this most recent example of my father's work — a "race car" bed for my three-year-old nephew Angus:

Now, I'm going to guess that most of my readers are over the age of thirty. But I know what you're thinking: Can I have a race car bed?

The Nation has a piece by William Deresiewicz called "Professing Literature in 2008," which presents a review of the Twentieth Anniversary edition of Gerald Graff's Professing Literature. Mostly, it's the usual screed, though it does a make a few points that even this pre-tenured radical might have to concede. I mention it here only to draw attention to the review's most exhilarating moment — an "analysis" of the MLA job list:

There have always been trends in literary criticism, but the major trend now is trendiness itself, trendism, the desperate search for anything sexy. Contemporary lit, global lit, ethnic American lit; creative writing, film, ecocriticism–whatever. There are postings here for positions in science fiction, in fantasy literature, in children's literature, even in something called "digital humanities."

I haven't been blogging long. Barely a year, in fact. Yet I have known for some time that "Hey check this out," followed by a link, is generally verboten among careful bloggers. But sometimes one can't resist, and this is one of those cases. It's an essay by Cristina Nehring called "What's Wrong with the American Essay."

She's discussing what might be my favorite genre — the only literary genre I've ever seriously tried to get right. I've read the work she's lambasting (the "Best American Essay" series), and she's right. So right. So very right.

More and more creative writing programs are trying to add "creative non-fiction" to their list of specialities. And while it is to be hoped that they will reject the current fashion for precious, ponderous monologues about screwed-up childhoods, near-death experiences, and other forms of studiously inoffensive navel-gazing in favor of what used to be called the essay, they would do well to read Nehring's essay. E. B. White, it should be remembered, preferred martinis to "tart apple cider," and it shows in his work and in the many masterpieces of the genre.

Quaint reminiscence about trout fishing be damned.

I've given a couple of talks recently on Fair Use and American copyright law, the gist of which has been to point out that the Fair Use rights of academics have been grossly misrepresented and legally distorted by the American publishing industry, and that current American copyright law does not, in any way, "promote the progress of science and useful arts" (Article I of the U.S. Constitution).

But really, nothing I have to say on this subject is quite as eloquent as this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJn_jC4FNDo

Matt K. sent me this great link to a gallery of excerpts from student "answers" to questions on math and science exams. Looks pretty real to me, though that's always an open question with hysterical things floating around the Web.
The ninth image is unfortunately rather offensive, but the first eight are pure gold.

I hope, by the way, that everyone has discovered StumbleUpon, which is undoubtedly the most violently aggressive time sink I've ever encountered (I want everyone to be reduced down to my level of productivity, you see). It's basically a link list, but one that has been amped up with the wisdom of crowds and implemented as a FireFox extension (sort of like a time sink implemented as a button — what will they think of next?). It's my absolute favorite way to channel surf the web, and it usually turns up this kind of thing within a few clicks.